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Adult Children Of Alcoholics |
The term ‘adult child’ refers to the child within us. The adult ‘grows up’ but is deeply affected by the hurt, damaged child within. It is this wounded child that reacts with fear and anger and is largely responsible for the set of symptoms that characterizes the ‘adult child.
The Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome (hereafter referred to as the ACA syndrome) develops as a natural result of living in a home where alcoholism affects the way the family operates. In order to survive the chaotic world created by the disease of alcoholism, each family member develops coping strategies which enable them to survive and cope at the time, but which, in adult years, stunt their potential and adversely affect their ability to develop and sustain normal healthy relationships.
Adult Children of Dysfunctional families
“Adult children” is also a term used to describe children who grew up in any kind of dysfunctional family where one or more family members suffered from any kind of addictive behaviour, serious mental health problem, or where any kind of dysfunction prevented “normal” healthy family communication and relationships.
Very often ACA’s will develop some form of addictive behaviour; will form relationships with another addict or alcoholic, or with other people who need rescuing. Often they do not feel that they are worthy of developing relationships with “normal” people and will often feel inferior and uncomfortable with those they perceive as “normal”. They feel comfortable and “normal” and useful around people who are dysfunctional in some way and especially around addicts or alcoholics who are still using and drinking. This is familiar territory. ACA’s are often addicted to drama and chaos and often only feel comfortable when coping with a crisis.
Aca’s often develop addictions as a way of dealing with their feelings. Their addiction is often a way of “self-medicating” the pain that they feel in coping with life. Despite an aversion to alcohol and other drugs they find themselves turning to the very substance that they despise. This in turn fuels the self-hatred so many feel. Very often ACA’s are not correctly diagnosed and find themselves in the Doctor or Psychologist’s rooms and are being treated for their symptoms with addictive substances. Very often this leads to substance dependence and eventually to addiction.
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