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The Addiction Cycle |
- Pre-occupation – the trance or mood wherein the addict’s minds are completely engrossed with thoughts of sex. This mental state creates an obsessive search for sexual stimulation.
- Ritualization – the addict’s own special routines that lead up to the sexual behaviour. The ritual intensifies the pre-occupation, adding arousal and excitement.
- Compulsive Sexual Behaviour – the actual sexual act, which is the end goal of the pre-occupation and ritualization. Sexual addicts are unable to control or stop this behaviour.
- Despair – the feeling of utter hopelessness addicts have about their behaviour and their powerlessness.
(P. Carnes Ph. D)
For example, a woman or man may have fantasized about paying for sex. They will have played with this fantasy for months, looking on web sites, perhaps even phoning hot lines. They may even have progressed to having phone sex. Eventually the behaviour escalates to the point where they need to physically engage with a sex-worker.
The cycle starts with the pre-occupation, the thoughts that they try to fight off, but which become incresingly overpowering. They will eventually phone and make the appointment. Then there is the ritual which is in fact the most fulfilling part, the acting out. The dressing up, the secret liaison. The act itself is usually a bit of a let down and is quickly followed by remorse and self-loathing.
It is important to note that the cycle of behaviour is constant but the actual level of addiction escalates with increasing frequency and risk. This is what makes sexual addiction extremely dangerous. |
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